Self-trust: learning to keep a promise to yourself

Self-trust is not self-confidence

I was a self-confident kid.

Perhaps you're the same: holding the room, the stage, the team.

But at the same time: there's such damned doubt.

If self-confidence is our belief in our own competence, then self-trust is a near opposite.

Self-trust is our belief that we’ll cope when we don’t succeed.

Self-confidence vs self-trust

Self-confidence is the dominant key of LinkedIn.

It is the jaunty, assertive yet dissonant chords of pitch decks, personal brands, mantras and motivational slogans. We are told, by books, by coaches, by our parents and teachers, that if we don't have it, we should get some.

We are told, ridiculous as it obviously is: that we will succeed, if we believe we will.

Self-trust is quieter. It is attuned to the deeper, more ambiguous currents of a world shaped by many wills. It doesn’t promise triumph. It is in fact gloriously indifferent to how things play out 'out there' in the world. Self-trust tells us that even if we fail to win the princess, build the castle, or slay the giant, we are still intact. Still capable. Still worthy of love. Able to try again.

The difference I’ve observed between dreamers and doers?

Not brilliance. Not boldness. Self-confidence has it's place, but can do more harm than good.

No, the difference between those adventurers who break through the stems and tangle of the enchanted forest, to reach the realm of the Big Bold life of Joy, and those who stay trapped in the Faraway Land of Grand Excuses is:

Self-trust.

Let me explain.